trust me, it was out of our control. sitting there in the waiting room, we couldn't switch the giant TV because it was up too high, right near the ceiling. besides, the lady at the counter seemed unwilling to give up the remote. so we sat, subjected to fox's crack news team. i'd always heard that their coverage was dubious, but, since the rabbit ears at my house don't tune that channel in clearly, i'd never been able to make a first-hand judgement.
walter cronkite it wasn't, but it started fine enough. i even let a few things slide, like when they said 'IT'S GO TIME!' as the lead-in to a story about the UN resolution on Iraq, and i didn't even cringe much when a reporter said 'the kid spilled the beans' about the interrogation of john lee malvo. i figured maybe they were trying for a younger demographic with the 'this-ain't-your-daddy's-news' angle. i let all of the crappy reporting slide off my back because at least there was free coffee while i waited.
no, what got to me was not fox news. it was the bubbly girl in her mid-twenties, there in the lobby with us, who gave a running commentary on every story.
bubbly girl on the terrible storms:
[while doing a little jump, raising arms, and shrieking] "when i was little, my mama used to take us to my grandma's and there'd be tornadoes. i'd be so scared."
bubbly girl on movies:
is really good. we went to see santa clause 2
this weekend. it was good."
bubbly girl on j-lo and ben affleck:
"he can do so much better than her. she is such a hoe."
i'm sure that i wasn't the only one who wanted to slip shards of glass into her steaming cup o' joe. i could almost see it. we would conspire against her, surreptitiously dropping the glittering shards that would silence this too-bubbly of girl. then we'd watch, giggling, as she fell in a heap on the outdated issues of newsweek and house beautiful.
: aislers set 'i've been mistreated'
: "And yet it's been recorded by everyone from Elvis Presley to the Robert Shaw chorale."