it is almost fall. almost time for the air to cool. almost time for comfortable evening walks and sweaters. almost a full year since my last date.
several things have conspired to remind me of this. the most recent of which was reading this
really, funny article by an author who sounds almost as picky as i am. my close friends never let me forget their belief that my standards are foolish and set too high, but, i know that if i settle, the relationship will be doomed to failure. they also tell me that i should 'just be going on a date' and not 'going on a relationship.' to that, i pound my fist on a table, all forcefully and powerful-like, then, while making one eyebrow raise really high and the other not, i reply, 'who has the time, energy, or cash for haphazard casual dating with people who you already consider sub-par? what is a date, if not a prelude to a relationship?'
in the article, the author presents her own list of standards; i agree with most of them. naturally, there are a few things that i would add. some are simply preferences for what i consider attractive, others are near-commandments and non-compliance would be a deal breaker. not a comprehensive list and in no particular order:
- preference is given to brunettes. i will propose marriage if it is styled like buttercup
- they are sexy, but please no monocles or pince nez, as they are not flattering on the girl face. dark-framed or cat's eye a plus.
- must have a working knowledge of several (any) genres of 20th century music, or ability to learn and appreciate same.
- must love film, no subtitle-phobes. (and, by film, i mean no movies starring freddie prinze, jr or the cast of american pie)
- simply knowing how to read does not qualify. you must be a reader. when people ask what you're reading, you should have a response. it should not have been several years ago and assigned.
- i'm not talking nobel laureate, but explaining my own jokes or those of my friends is so tiresome.
quick-witted, clever, funny
- yes, all of the above.
if you think you might be that special girl, applications are now being accepted at the email address at right.
: nico icon
: sleater-kinney "burn, don't freeze!"
: article mentioned above